The secret garden of my life stories :
Untold and Uncut
This story presents glimpses of my life.
Today, I share with you my experiences,
in the purpose to experience humanity in its deepest form,
in the hope, of perhaps, to revive within you a hopeful and changed heart.
June 27th, 2019 — The shock
A few days after my 34th birthday, there it was.
For months on end since we separated, I debated internally : do we go back to what was
familiar and just end this torture. The easy way out, on so many practical levels. We
wanted, we didn’t, we wished, we just couldn’t.
There she sat, next to him, as he rapidly passed, thinking he was smarter than me, as he did, really, all those years we were married. Thinking he would not be seen. There it was and there I stood, stupid and hurt. There it was.
Finally, the truth, and the shock.
The shock.
I will find a way to fix these broken pieces and let go. Tla3 mene w mat tol 3alaye, as Fadi Andrawos once sang.
I’ve loved and I’ve lost.
I’ve loved and I’ve lost, but perhaps the greatest love lost was the one I had lost not for him, but for myself, within these past years.
This part will be continued later. It’s worth the wait.
My dear, this is not our first rodeo and it probably won’t be the last, as we’ve been so passionate about each other in this lifetime and in all of our past lives. The memories are becoming of a distance and fading away into the past, but the unexplainable sense of attachment is there and always will be.
We are both now where we need to be. As it should’ve been long before now, for we could’ve spared each other a tremendous amount of pain. What’s done is done.
Yes, I’ve moved on as well. Don’t worry about my open wounds and broken heart.
